Herewith starts my collection of anecdotes on customer service, how to win or lose in the game. While this is in random order, I must admit what comes to mind is that which generates the loudest laughter when told to others or the most irritant. Any which way is fine for as long as you get to your audience’s mindshare - something I learned from advertising in my previous life.
I remember my brother Tony in California asked if I wanted to be brought to a place where for 30 minutes and for a certain fee, you will be made to laugh or be tickled to death. Choose your wild…
At Robinson’s Forum Mall one afternoon while waiting to pay my bills, I browsed for a pair of shorts for an out of town activity. A sales lady asked what kind and innocently enough, she blurted “formal?" I didn’t know how to respond except to divert attention and gazed my eyes a few meters away. She went on to point to another rack, as perhaps she had processed that I may be looking for something less formal. Here she said we have “pekpek” shorts… I nearly fainted.
Having been in the apartment where my children and I had stashed our personal effects in Antipolo, where it was hot and humid, I bought a bottle of flavored water at Budget Lane to quench my thirst. The bag boy was quick to offer a plastic bag…that was nice. At Mini-Stop on the ground floor where I work, they’d even tag your bottle with a tiny sticker if you don’t want a plastic bag. Thumbs up!
A couple of years ago thereabouts, at Budget Lane I bought a reconditioned cellphone for a couple of thousand pesos. This was after my bag was stolen at a food court in Gateway, Cubao. Overnight, I had the chance to tinker with the cellphone (it came without a manual), discovered it was disappointingly not sending SMS. I took it back the next day, had to call Budget Lane’s security to help convince the store personnel they had a bad product. To clarify, the store was not Budget Lane but one of those booths lined on the entrance.
Down the road, I bought a reconditioned one at St. Francis Square which is now what my “yaya” uses and which serves as my tool to call her for duty here at the condo.
Years ago when I could afford a bag in the vicinity of ten thousand pesos, I’d go to Rustan’s. I got a branded one for around that much, black, and of some animal hide. I flaunted it at work, displayed it on my shelf but those whose noses were sensitive would ask, what’s that smell? Really, it smelled like “longgoniza” and I too could smell it permeating my room. I took it back in exchange for other items not without a sales lady offering me a loyalty card. Heller!
St. Luke’s Hospital is one of my favorites. I’d go there for check ups, emergencies, treatments, and to visit family and friends who were confined. It now has Lea Salonga as its endorser, whom I saw in the flesh at the Cultural Center of the Philippines for “Cats.” Comparing, I had a more enjoyable time seeing “Legally Blonde” that starred a local Filipina talent of less celebrity status.
As you enter the Cathedral Heights building, you would see Lea Salonga’s banner with some copy that one would find difficult to relate to. I thought what she was trying to say was St. Luke’s had a heart if I recall her hand language. Same entrance across her banner, was this wellness banner showing legs with varicose veins. It was like a left handed complement.
If you ask what I was doing at St. Luke’s… I was there to consult with my orthopedic doctor for my cervical spondylosis episode which necessitated physical therapy sessions. My PT was great, if you want a referral I can give you her name and cellphone number. However, I will purge the orthopedic doctor from my list. She wasted my time waiting for an hour and a half when she and her assistant knew very well they both had to be out for a conference or a workshop. I walked out in fact.
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